Posted by: powellsinsantacruz | October 9, 2012

Is she yours?

We have found people here in Santa Cruz to be very open and friendly. They are also very interested in children and will come up to us to talk about our children. Despite this being a challenge to our natural English reserve, we appreciate and enjoy this. Unfortunately, it’s not always positive and we will get told off for dressing the children in too few clothes (frequently) or too many (occasionally- you can’t win).

The most frequent comment or question we get asked by strangers, passers by and shopkeepers is “is she yours?” in reference to Evie. By this, they mean that she looks different from us, Chloe and Caleb, so is she our daughter? I can get a little frustrated by this question. I don’t want to have to explain the adoption to everyone and at first it caught me unawares- of course she is. She’s our daughter.

The trouble is the answer is more complicated than that. She feels like our daughter. She is totally part of the family- loved and adored by us, Chloe and Caleb. Caleb will just sit watching Evie at times like she is the greatest, most amazing person in the whole world. Which I guess she is to him. Look as she runs around the house… as she eats with a spoon… as she pulls all the books off the shelf… hang on, stop setting a bad example, Evie! Anyway, she is completely our daughter.

But legally she is not ours. Not yet. We don’t have the necessary papers, she doesn’t share our surname- she isn’t ours.

I don’t explain all of this to strangers who ask, but sometimes I do think it- the answer is not straightforward.

But ultimately the answer to “Is she yours?” is no for a different reason. We don’t really own our children like a piece of property, even if they do share our surname. I can’t remember who said that it’s like children are on loan- we look after them at best, they are not ours to keep and we will need to let them go one day. They are a gift from God, and they are still His.

So, is Evie ours? Well not yet, but she is definitely our daughter. At the end of the day though she is God’s, her Heavenly Father’s.



  1. Thanks x

  2. Loved seeing you all on Sunday – it made my day, and Evie’s grin was something else! Lots of love, Mum

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